Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
