I think im going to throw up on grandma
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
