I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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