guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
