This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
