I'm gonna have a badass scar
just come out here and I will go home with you...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
