Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
