The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
