Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
