You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
