i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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