whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
