I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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