Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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