real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
