I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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