You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
