Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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