Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
