good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
