Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
