I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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