Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
