she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
