Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
