The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
