I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
a search helicopter?!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
