nut hugger
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
