so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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