So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
