I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
