If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
