so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
