I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize