I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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