I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
that may or may not have been my penis.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
