Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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