im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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