Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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