Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
