we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Randomize
