i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
