Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I am one with the molecules
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
