did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
