hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
