Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
