i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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