Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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