He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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