Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I can't turn off my feet"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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