We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
